Love. I'm thinking....

Alot of things has been happening. Basically. Relationships. problems. Not me. It seems to effect the people around me. And I'm starting to think. Well. yeah.

Is it that worth it? To jump into a relationship. No longer in your status: Single. It reads: Taken. In a relationship right now. Well. I'm thinking. Yeah. It's great having someone. To hold. To call your own. To hug. To complain to when you have a problem. To snuggle and whisper sweet stuffs to. and the list goes on. Sigh. Well. What about the times you have to have fights? Like if you love me, then you'll understand? You just don't understand my situation! You don't even have time for me! You don't even stand up for me when he/she flirts around. Or I love you, but you don't love me as much. Ego. Greed. Desires come in the way. What's the point then? To endure. Then when you find out, or sort of know that person is not the one. And what? Let go? And hope for the next love to walk through that door?

Well... I don't see how good is love. Being in love.. Cloud 9. Oo la la.. Love is in the air. Chocolates. Roses. Romantic poems. The staring into the eyes for hours. The warmth in each other hugs. And what else did I missed?

I might sound like a total sadist. You can say, I haven't really set my eyes on anyone right now. Or do I need a reality check, where every couple go through the same thing, and you just have to lower down your expectations, don't be a fussy pot, and just look straight, and accept any guys that shows interest in you?

I'm still very straight. Don't worry. I've been through it. Crushes. Real life. Online. But in the end, nothing came out of it. Good friends, yes. But not relationships. Maybe it's not time yet? as quoted. And stop being a fussy pot? as quoted again. So many times, I have been asking myself and to others.. Is there something wrong with me? I don't like guys or the guys don't like me? haha.. Am I weird or something? The response: There's is NOTHING wrong with you!! lolz..
Okayy.. I get it...

Well for me, it's always... okay guy. bad timing. doesn't fit my 3 checklists. not okay guy.again not to my taste. or fine guy. bad timing. not interested. lolz.. Pathetic? hehe.. I don't think so. Well, you mature with age, if not with experience. When you fail, it means you found a new way to avoid a mistake in the future. Deep huh? haha..

Give it another 1 or 2 or even 3 years time. And we shall see... I hope to see me. matured. still me. a fussy pot. With someone who can accept me for the way I am. And I hope to see myself in that person as well.. Hmmm.. Ting zhu xian la.. hahaha..