Jun 5, 2007

It's just tears. and rain.

No, it's not from James Blunt. Let's move on now. Oh, it's not from your movie as well, Jamie. hehe. Okay...

Today was a "lovely" day, I didn't started the day fresh, slept late ;p. But, of course, we made it to class w/o being locked out. We weren't late, late. But you know, I hate running to class in a groggy state. hehe. But we had a good class, great in fact, although I had a "bimbo" moment, by asking Hardip, whether lecturers are considered white collared workers. Well, not that I thought they are blue collared workers, it's just that I'm curious, and I wondered if they fall in a different category. It was a good laugh though? hehe..

I enjoyed PR today. Ah, video was great, national service in Spore. It was pretty much the same, only w/o the M16 (for my batch), not-so-clean food! and not so tough for us? For a moment, I felt proud to have gone through NS, again. I got goosebumps watching it, and of course, smiley moments, thinking about the sweet memories. How we were tortured by our coach, the night guard experience, the obstacle course and the under the sun marching! Excruciating, it was hard, I had a few tearful moments, where I really wished I was home, but it was true when they say, you cry when you're there, and you cry when you're going back. We, human beings, are just so weird by nature. haha.

At the end of the class, he really got me there.. I was actually convinced to go for PR. I find that PR is too interesting, I don't know about the rest, but it's really a life lesson. For someone who really hates politics and conflicts, he's doing a good job in brainwashing me. haha.. Okay, maybe convincing is a better word. I'm still thinking, I wouldn't say PR is definitely it. But, I wouldn't rule out the possibility.

As for Gary's class today, although I sat right behind the class, and "emotionally distressed", his class was really good. Once again, he made a point, a new perspective of an issue, the part, I've never seen before. He may call me cibai, that was a big OUCH! but he has his style of doing things. I don't agree with that, but it's just sometimes, you have to go through criticisms. Hey, it isn't called media criticism for nothing, okay?

People tell me he likes to repeat stuffs, and he loves the muslim topics, "sensitive" issues like gay, because he's passionate about those stuffs. Well, after today's class, I think as long as I learn something new from each class, I don't care if he repeats his stuff. It's all good. I still give me my respect, and that's what every one deserves. Each individual is unique. We still have all our prejudices, that's human nature. When he said, we can stay still, and stay the same. I say, the only thing that's permanent, is change. I'm not saying by changing, meaning you're different person. My experience so far, 19 years of my life, or to cut short, just this one year in college, made me realize that there's so many way to approach an issue, you adapt to it. You can't just have one way, I'm still the same old me, but the way I approach something might be different, based on experience with people and issues. I learn to deal with it, it's not easy. Like today, I might break down and cry, which I'm fine with. I fall, I wipe away my tears, and I stand up, and learn from my mistake and know what I should do next time, well if there's next time. Haha. Li said, we're all stupid people. I say we're all substitute people. We are the 2nd, the backups. I realized, and I truly believe it, because it's impossible to wait for people to appreciate what you do. You're really stupid to do that. In the end, you'll realize that you appreciate yourself, you give yourself a pat on the back, you love yourself. You don't wait for people to do that, it'll take ages, you even might not get it.

Accusations, rumors, assumptions will come, and hit you like a hammer on your head, or worse. Something like that. haha. They say face it. People assume. And ending up, making an ass out of you and me. I can't tell whether to do this or to do that is correct. It's hard. It's not easy. I can come up with a 1000 meanings for it, but you do get the picture. Whether you're the object of all that, or you're doing that, that's a fine line. You can't really tell. You feel angry, pushed aside, cheated, whatever. It comes in a package. If I can tell you the answer to fix it, I'll be writing a book, and I would have ended up a millionaire now. So, if you're looking for answers, well, I'm not your girl.

From an OST- Because I said so.

When it’s not always raining

Everyday is like this

If there’s no one complaining

Everyday is like this

Everything falls on into place

Like the flip from the switch

When my mama told me

Everyday is like this

When you don’t need to worry

Everyday is like this

When no one’s in hurry

Everyday is like this

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