Mar 3, 2007

Victimized. : (

It didn't hit me that hard this time. Well, hard...Just not hard enough.. I think I saw it coming. But you know people can be like that. Insecurities- make them react, and people.. like in this case.. I was victimized.

But even though I saw it coming.. Never would I have thought, it'll be that quick... I wasn't the first to get hit on, but now it seems I am, well... I guess I'm more influential than I thought I was... haha... lolz. perasan-ness..

A hard, cold wave has just hit me in the face, basically trying very hard to drown me, but I stand strong.. What does not kill you, only make you stronger. I face consequences, but I'm free from my conscience, because I know it.. the truth. I have seen people falling down into politics, and how they handle it. I'm really impressed.. And I wish I could be one of them.

Everytime injustice happens, I have been told that there is always a learning point. Not only injustice but anything that happens. Now I truly believe, and in this case, I take it as a lesson, a lesson learnt, so that I would know and remember all my life. Not to be like that, or mature in the sense of taking wise decision. I can stand strong, and not be blew away because of the support. There are passerby, busy bodies.. but I have friends, my family... and (i have to say this), I have God. ^^

Taking this as a challenge is definitely not easy, not easy at all.. I hope to see myself grow even more. I'm happy, that I'm no longer tied down. I cannot say I hate conflits or politics. It happens, it happens. And if you are smart enough to learn the good part of it, well.. that's greattt news... Look at the sun and not the mud. But if you have to look at the mud, embrace it and see the beauty of it. People that mistreated you, or people that trying to bring you down are the real teacher in life. See the beauty in them. You may feel like banging their heads on the wall, but hey... you're not actually feeling better? Am i right? Well, like what this person has taught me, telling others of how one stabbed you, is like you stabbing yourself over and over again. Well, I wouldn't want to feel more hurt than that. Ouch! And this is the same person who's trying to bring me down. Ah, now that I think of that, he actually provided a remedy before doing that to others, or me. lolz. That's really nice! Haha... Oh, should thank him then. ^^;

Thinking about all these makes me stress, and the mocha did not helped. Heh. Figures. Maybe should go for 4 shots of expresso again. Haha.. No.. No more 4 shots.. I swore I was like a drug addict the day after I drank it. lolz. I think I have fever.. I can feel another pimple popping out. lolz. I'm so sensitive of what's happening now. The drizzle outside right now, is not helping out.
The funny thing is, I feel relieved now. Now that I'm free.. Well, in a way. haha. I'm like a bird.. I can imagine I'm in Nelly Furtado's mv right now. hahahahha...

Maybe I just need a shoulder now. To cry. To let it out? haha... Haish! That's where boyfriends come in handy.. lolz.. ^^; Speaking bout em.. enough of freaky guys... hahhaah...

About what really happened, actually it may seem you're a coward if you don't stand up for yourself, but have you heard of a chinese proverb, The more you speak, the more mistakes you'll make? In this case, my counterpart, well.. happens to be a very good words.. don't have other "thoughts". heheh. So, it'll be very... very foolish to confront, or to in any way create a chance for this counterpart to confront you and technically bang your head on the wall, but make you feel like you deserve it. And I know, that being the quiet one, is not showing your weaknesses but your strength in disguise, you see.. I appreciate people coming up to me saying that I should stand up for myself, confront... and stuff.. But I just don't care anymore, like what the other person is thinking about me.. comploting some things to bring me down. Well, let's just say, I keep my good night's sleep. And you can have all the fun, counting sheeps or downing sleeping pills. Well, that is certainly not my problem. People will have all the fun they want when it comes to this, but he who knows of his own doings will face judgement. Like they say, sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga (as smooth/as clever a squirell jumps, sooner or later it'll fall to the ground). Oh, i still remember some malay proverbs.. looks like i haven't given that back to the teacher.. hahaha....

I leave you with something that I thought was good in MPH..

To laugh often and much
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
To love and appreciate your family and friends
To embrace distorted human minds; to learn from it and be thankful
To appreciate the beauty of nature
To find the best in others
To live the world a bit better
To know 1 life has breathed easier because you lived
This is to have succeeded.

-edited version- by me. haha..

Tough times never last
Tough people do.

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