Nov 17, 2008

Who's to blame? the men or the women?

credit: pic

Last night, after church service, we went for dinner at a local indian shop. We had rawa tosai (wikipedia spelled it as "dosa"), mutton curry, fried mee and the usual teh tarik. And what's really surprising is the bill, when it came up to RM 23.60, which I found to be absurd, well, the fact that the main newspapers' headlines literally screams price drop in hawker centers and mamak stalls. Well, maybe in some places only, but of course, I didn't think it'd impress any Malaysians by the 10 cents drop, the fact that from the normal 70 cents roti canai went up to RM 1, and now after the reduced 10 cents, it's 90 cents.

credit: article @ pic
my mum had to sms me and told me they had two pieces of roti canai, and two pieces of tosai, and teh tarik in Ipoh only cost them RM5. Yes, it will continue to remain a food paradise for me, cheap and plentiful.

of course that's not the real case, because the main thing is about our little conversation. it carried out like any other harmless convo, about this friend who was left by her husband for another young girl, when she was fully dependent on the husband and she has children as young as 13 who is still schooling. of course, any sane human being would definitely pity the lady a.k.a the victim in this situation. i mean, who would be SO cruel to the woman you married and carries your child? well, apparently, a lot of them out there, i supposed.

the conversation sort of expanded with more stories similar to the first case, so you can imagine that there were tension, and sometimes you just get angry over something that you feel strongly about.

but i had a different opinion. naturally.

i had one question in my head:

Would the husband stay if he was happy with the current marriage?

The answer is _ _ _. Yes, I would like to think so too. You can say that the man is lustful, going through some mid life crisis (like you know, "Get over it"), etc etc. Most of these thoughts or perception we will have because we think for the lady. Yes, no doubt, the wife is the victim, but I like to think that the man is too, a victim in the marriage. Most of these cases happen because:

1) It wasn't built on a strong foundation
2) there weren't anything that was really done to upkeep the marriage

And believe me, we play our part too, when the lady decides to play "God", "Maybe I can change him, when we get married", when she already knew. I'm not trying to say, "Ok, you brought it upon yourself, so don't go blaming others". But seriously, that is usually the consequence when your pride think you can, but it could've took more than 20 years to build up those problems, and here we think, "I can change him, once we get married," *shrugs* *case closed*

What about the "seductive" young girls, locals, China dolls, Indonesians etc etc etc? Gosh, is it their fault really? Or did they just made themselves "available" when these men are looking for a way out of their personal crisis?

Now, are we going to say, "They (the couples) were doing so fine, until the marriage wrecker/ husband stealer came into the picture"?

I think no one's to blame, everyone in the picture has a fair share of blame. Everyone has their agenda, the young girls didn't go out to break marriages; who doesn't want to be loved and to be spoiled with gifts? If he was happy, would he go out to look for something else? If she was doing her part, would she be the last to know?

The real victims: the children. "Yea, why didn't I think of that?"

blog comments powered by Disqus

  © Blogger template 'Minimalist A' by 2008

Back to TOP