Dec 15, 2009

20 going on 21.

I'm not really too excited about this one. It's just like Christmas, or New Year and should be celebrated that way, once a year. There shouldn't be any "commercial tag" on it. The golden key, the big cash reward, hotel celebration, oh no, embarrassing huge birthday cake in the shape of "21". I'm not even joking. Really, it could've been "MTV's Sweet Sixteen" style, same tackiness and drama but maybe less bling.

I don't think I grew up in a typical Asian (Chinese) family, although I remembered my mum saying something about hand-me-down golden key when I asked for jewelery for my 21st a couple of years ago when I saw my cousins getting a new one from their grandmother. That's just as Asian as we can get.

What do I wish for this birthday?

It's ironic because we all used to get so excited about growing up to be adults but the like the saying goes, "the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side". When you finally get here, it's a different perspective all together.

I'm at this major point in my life. Make it or break it kind of situation. I chose a different path and unlike the other decisions I've made, this one takes the Oscar's Breakthrough Role Award.

It's rather tricky because when you try to take the road less traveled, you're unlikely to be 100% supported. There will be mockers, believers, the perplexed etc etc. It's like when Cameron Diaz decided to take a challenging role in Sister's Keepers, some applauded her, some mocked and said she's just trying to score an award.

So here am I, well, not exactly like Cameron Diaz, but you do get the drift.

Liyana asked me on Twitter today, what I wanted this year for my big day. If you asked me a couple of years ago, I would have wanted so many [material] things. The list is never ending but it has dawned upon me that what I really wanted in this lifetime is to be happy with what I have now at the same time in pursuit for better things.

"Happy" cannot be measured but I know I'm getting there if I don't give up. As long as I do the things that fills me with abundance of joy, you will just keep going, right? At this point of my life, I'm having flashbacks of the incidences; the characters I meet, loved ones that have left, moments of motivation and inspirations, friendships, experiences, worldly opportunities.

I thank each and everyone and everything that has come my way. Though may not be sweet, but it has made me to be who I am today, tomorrow, and in the future.

Now, I'm looking forward to Sunday. =)

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